Lost my focus

OUCH!!! Yeah, that's my ankle breaking...bruised ribs.....bruised ego too!!! No, I didn't really hurt myself physically...but mentally yes! I fell off the diet wagon pretty badly. So badly that it FEELS like I have a broken ankle, bruised ribs etc.I really , REALLY love food! I won't state what my weight is, cause truthfully, I don't know. Last I checked I was around 156. I think I"m more than that now. I was down to 146!! I AM SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF!!!! It seems so hard to back on that diet train....I don't like giving up the foods I so enjoy eating. Lately I found out that the last race I ran, I actually PLACED 2nd place in my age division for women! I've NEVER placed before. I was only 2.5 minutes behind FIRST place. I was sooooo excited!! I never stuck around for the results / winners of the race because I just didn't feel like I was good enough to place. Boy was I wrong!! NOW, "exercise wise" I'm more focused...and ready to hit the stairs..or hill..or anything cause next summer I want that 1st place medal!! But I really need to drop this weight. I'm so used to the "young" me, that even when I was exercising, I was able to eat what I wanted. I might have gained weight but not this fast. That was the younger me..NOW, its a whole different ball game. I need some motivation....HELP!