This may be for everyone....this might be for no one.
But today...this is for ME.
People make me mad!!!
And today, since this is MY blog...and a place for me to put MY thoughts...I am going to say what I want to say and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Rant #1
What parents post on Facebook appalls me!
I mean SERIOUSLY!!!!
Yes, I said PARENTS. If you have kids....and are posting stuff that they may google your name someday when they are teenagers, and NOTHING ON THE INTERNET EVER GOES AWAY....do you really think what you posted...things you said....pictures you shared...will be OK FOR THEM TO SEE????
Rant #2
KIDS...what you post.....
Someday...your possible future employers will do a google search on you TOO. What you post may come back to bite you ...and bite you hard! I hear all the time:
" Its my personal facebook and I can say and do whatever I want"
Yep, it sure is....but guess what people.....there are consequences for the things you write. You might not have the foresight to see it now...but I guarantee you ...that someday...you might be sorry for the picture you posted...or what you vented when you were angry.
Rant #3
I am mad at MYSELF!!!
I get so pumped up about stuff...
Exercise...Yeah me. I run ...surpass my expectations....only to totally quit and eat so bad my weight comes back on.
My Doterra business...I come up with the most awesome ideas...I buy everything I need....I get all ready...then BOOM....I DO NOTHING! I STOP. I do not know why. But I hate this one thing about myself. I think its my thing I hate the most about myself.
My writing...I have to admit to myself...I am great with putting my thoughts into words that encourage others. Sometimes, the words flow so freely that I can't do anything but type. Then I look back and think " WOW"...where did that come from? But again....I start something...and don't keep up with it.
I HATE THIS THORN IN MY SIDE AND DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS !!!
I am a fixer.
I am great with fixing everyone else.
I can give encouragement and solutions to everyone else...but when it comes to this personal issue...I truly have no clue.
Someone might say, " well, just make a plan and stick to it".
LOL
Yep, tried that.
I wrote myself notes...to remind me to write...then I forget where I put those reminders.
I have prayed that God would help me find a solution to this issue because its hindering my success in all the areas of my life that I want to be successful with.
If anyone has ideas....let me know!
Rant over...FOR NOW LOL
Friday, October 28, 2016
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Sometimes, I truly Hate the flaws I have.
INCONSISTENCY.
I think that is my thorn in my side.
It seems no matter what I do...whether it be exercise, my DoTerra Business, eating healthy, cleaning house...cooking...etc....I am never consistent.
I HATE THIS!
It frustrates me more than I can even express.
It has me to a point that I just want to scream because I know my life would be so different if I could just tackle this issue.
So...to all of you out there who DO NOT have this issue of inconsistency....whats your secret?
What if you have so many things that you need to be consistent with?
I need advice right now...
I think that is my thorn in my side.
It seems no matter what I do...whether it be exercise, my DoTerra Business, eating healthy, cleaning house...cooking...etc....I am never consistent.
I HATE THIS!
It frustrates me more than I can even express.
It has me to a point that I just want to scream because I know my life would be so different if I could just tackle this issue.
So...to all of you out there who DO NOT have this issue of inconsistency....whats your secret?
What if you have so many things that you need to be consistent with?
I need advice right now...
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Time to get real
I am not sure why I have decided to do this.
But I believe its time...
Years ago, 37 years ago, give or take , my mom died of cancer.
But the pain and trauma and the scars that would change my life began before that day.
I can remember my mom telling me she was sick and going to die. I remember THAT very clearly. I can see where we were sitting, everything about that moment was so very clear to me. Its like its burned into my memory.
Also, I find it so strange that so many things about that time, and even years after, seem to be lost in my mind somewhere.
TRAUMA does much damage to our mind and emotions.
You would think that I would visit my mom often.
That I would go and want her to meet my kids and talk to her about whats going on in my life since I really didn't have anyone to do that with. My dad was absent...not always physically absent...but emotionally 100%.
When I was an adult, I married and we were away for over 20 years. When we DID come home, I rarely went to see her grave . I really have no idea why. And now, we have been back to the area almost 10 years and I can count on ONE hand , yes ONE, how many times I've visited her.
I also notice when it comes to death, I am very numb to things.
That's why I believe its time.
Time to heal this damage done to my heart and soul.
Time to apologize to my mom for not visiting and talking with her.
Time to apologize to my kids for not telling them more about their grandmother. ( I don't remember much so its hard to talk about her)
Time to apologize to my dear friends who never knew her and I failed to keep her memory alive.
Its time to visit her regularly and start the healing process.....
But I believe its time...
Years ago, 37 years ago, give or take , my mom died of cancer.
But the pain and trauma and the scars that would change my life began before that day.
I can remember my mom telling me she was sick and going to die. I remember THAT very clearly. I can see where we were sitting, everything about that moment was so very clear to me. Its like its burned into my memory.
Also, I find it so strange that so many things about that time, and even years after, seem to be lost in my mind somewhere.
TRAUMA does much damage to our mind and emotions.
You would think that I would visit my mom often.
That I would go and want her to meet my kids and talk to her about whats going on in my life since I really didn't have anyone to do that with. My dad was absent...not always physically absent...but emotionally 100%.
When I was an adult, I married and we were away for over 20 years. When we DID come home, I rarely went to see her grave . I really have no idea why. And now, we have been back to the area almost 10 years and I can count on ONE hand , yes ONE, how many times I've visited her.
I also notice when it comes to death, I am very numb to things.
That's why I believe its time.
Time to heal this damage done to my heart and soul.
Time to apologize to my mom for not visiting and talking with her.
Time to apologize to my kids for not telling them more about their grandmother. ( I don't remember much so its hard to talk about her)
Time to apologize to my dear friends who never knew her and I failed to keep her memory alive.
Its time to visit her regularly and start the healing process.....
Friday, October 07, 2016
Marriage is a journey
Yes, today is the day that I have been married for 29 years.
SO many thoughts and emotions come to mind today.
I've been with Mike now for over 30 years. But married 29.
Not many people make it this far. I can't say that we haven't had struggles. I've seen MANY struggles over those 29 years. I see others struggling and giving up and I say ANYTHING can be fixed if you truly desire it.
But it takes 2 people...2 very very dedicated people to make it work. One persons dedication is not enough. I couldn't do it with him and he couldn't do it without me. And of course, we couldn't do anything without God. God has been the center of our marriage almost the whole time. That is why I believe we are going strong.
No, its not perfect with roses and romantic calls or texts.
Yes, we frustrate each other almost daily.
Yes, we know each other so well that sometimes we need space to just be our own person because sometimes identities get mixed and we can easily lose our individuality.
Yes, we disagree about how to raise our kids sometimes .
Yes, sometimes I think he's too rough and he thinks I'm too soft.
Yes, sometimes he gets mad at me because I move things he doesn't want moved . Yes, I get mad because he leaves things out that I have to put away time and time again.
Does he do dishes? nah...but its because I've always done them. Or the kids will.
Does he take out the trash....nope.
And its just dawned on me why.
He served our country for 20 years in the Navy. During many many deployments, I had to do it all. I went from being this young, scared and frail young lady to being this independent strong woman who can do anything I set my mind to. Yep, I CAN and WILL do whatever my mind tells me I can. I was always the type of woman that took care of it all because he was away so often, I didn't want him to have to lift a finger when he came home. Now that he is retired, nothing has changed on my end. I still do it all because its what I've always done.
Even though he is retired from the military, he's by no means retired. He not only has a full time job that takes him away from home for sometimes 12 hours a day but he acquired his business degree WHILE working that full time job. We support each others dreams and sometimes its hard. Sometimes its VERY hard...and sometimes its so very easy.
That's OUR marriage. That's the way WE work.
Today I read a status on Facebook of someone who lost their husband last night suddenly. Left behind a wife and 2 girls.
NO ONE is guaranteed tomorrow. ABSOLUTELY no one.
A Happy and fulfilled marriage is promised to no one but if you took vows before God and made promises,,,then you owe it to yourself and your spouse to keep it.
Happy Anniversary Mike. Look at us! 5 children. 3 grandsons. Look at what we've accomplished together. Our 4 sons and our daughter just amaze me. They are so gorgeous, smart, gifted, independent, ...just incredible kids. My grandsons have such a huge piece of my heart,,,I cannot imagine it any other way. We did a good job so far. Mistakes? Sure....but what marriage doesn't have mistakes. Those mistakes helped us to be who we are today. Courage and adventure are one of the prime elements of what makes us who we are. Do we go on worldly adventures traveling the world...nah....but our marriage and raising our family has been an adventure of a lifetime so far and each day brings a new one.
I'm so glad I get to face each adventure with you.
Here's to the next one...and the next one...
SO many thoughts and emotions come to mind today.
I've been with Mike now for over 30 years. But married 29.
Not many people make it this far. I can't say that we haven't had struggles. I've seen MANY struggles over those 29 years. I see others struggling and giving up and I say ANYTHING can be fixed if you truly desire it.
But it takes 2 people...2 very very dedicated people to make it work. One persons dedication is not enough. I couldn't do it with him and he couldn't do it without me. And of course, we couldn't do anything without God. God has been the center of our marriage almost the whole time. That is why I believe we are going strong.
No, its not perfect with roses and romantic calls or texts.
Yes, we frustrate each other almost daily.
Yes, we know each other so well that sometimes we need space to just be our own person because sometimes identities get mixed and we can easily lose our individuality.
Yes, we disagree about how to raise our kids sometimes .
Yes, sometimes I think he's too rough and he thinks I'm too soft.
Yes, sometimes he gets mad at me because I move things he doesn't want moved . Yes, I get mad because he leaves things out that I have to put away time and time again.
Does he do dishes? nah...but its because I've always done them. Or the kids will.
Does he take out the trash....nope.
And its just dawned on me why.
He served our country for 20 years in the Navy. During many many deployments, I had to do it all. I went from being this young, scared and frail young lady to being this independent strong woman who can do anything I set my mind to. Yep, I CAN and WILL do whatever my mind tells me I can. I was always the type of woman that took care of it all because he was away so often, I didn't want him to have to lift a finger when he came home. Now that he is retired, nothing has changed on my end. I still do it all because its what I've always done.
Even though he is retired from the military, he's by no means retired. He not only has a full time job that takes him away from home for sometimes 12 hours a day but he acquired his business degree WHILE working that full time job. We support each others dreams and sometimes its hard. Sometimes its VERY hard...and sometimes its so very easy.
That's OUR marriage. That's the way WE work.
Today I read a status on Facebook of someone who lost their husband last night suddenly. Left behind a wife and 2 girls.
NO ONE is guaranteed tomorrow. ABSOLUTELY no one.
A Happy and fulfilled marriage is promised to no one but if you took vows before God and made promises,,,then you owe it to yourself and your spouse to keep it.
Happy Anniversary Mike. Look at us! 5 children. 3 grandsons. Look at what we've accomplished together. Our 4 sons and our daughter just amaze me. They are so gorgeous, smart, gifted, independent, ...just incredible kids. My grandsons have such a huge piece of my heart,,,I cannot imagine it any other way. We did a good job so far. Mistakes? Sure....but what marriage doesn't have mistakes. Those mistakes helped us to be who we are today. Courage and adventure are one of the prime elements of what makes us who we are. Do we go on worldly adventures traveling the world...nah....but our marriage and raising our family has been an adventure of a lifetime so far and each day brings a new one.
I'm so glad I get to face each adventure with you.
Here's to the next one...and the next one...
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