I woke up this morning and something occurred to me....
I can choose if I want to be happy or NOT. I put the word N O T cause there are many other words that mean NOT...(angry..discouraged...etc) but I don't want to feel any of those things.


I had to walk in the rain a block this morning to get some coffee to get my morning started because Sergio is getting sick and had me up most of the night...so coffee was a definite must this morning. As I was walking...and the rain drops hitting my face...It occurred to me each drop was a reminder that God sends the rain on EVERYONE. But not EVERYONE recognized the drops creator. 
I don't want to be the kind of person who looks at Gods creation and doesn't see it for what it really is. There are many people out there who have no sensitivity or eyesight to see what God has given us each day. I WON"T be that person.
The rain...a gift.
The clouds...a gift...
Crying baby...YES....a gift


Most people have trouble with COMPLAINING about everything that doesn't fit their " way".
I've been guilty of this...


But I'm trying to get better.


But the rain may make it a "pain" to drive to your destination this morning...but God saw fit to send the rain so enjoy it. Cause it is GOOD.


Look for the good in everything....
Try to not be so pessimistic...


Be blessed because our God is the same today as always and ever more :)

Its a new dawn...its a new day.....

Its been quite a while ..hasn't it? Well.....I think that its about time to start this up again. It was...and always has been therapeutic to write here.

So here I am :)

Nikki.

Mother

Wife

5 Incredible children that I believe WHOLEHEARTEDLY that were given to me specifically by GOD.

Friend(I find I have simplified my friend "list" . Or should I say OTHERS have simplified it for me.)

I am on a quest right now.

A quest to find out if I am still the person I was when I began this journal.

I believe I am not.

I feel God is doing a "transplant" with me....

In with new...and better...

out with the old...and well...immature.

SO many times in my life I felt like I've had blinders on and God has removed them at HIS time to show me certain things. At this point of my life...I'm 43 years old...I have 2 adult children...2 teenagers and 1 toddler...HE is showing me something else. Something VERY important and I wish to share it with others.

So this blog will be a "sharing" of sorts....of what God wants me to share with you as HE shares glimpses with me :)

I really don't write on here very much anymore ...but you can find me on facebook...

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1123372700

Please add me as a friend here..

New mom?

One thing I've found from having Sergio is that I feel like this brand new mom all over again.
Its weird...I mean, I have the knowledge and wisdom that comes from experience but this newly found feeling of awe is just interesting to me.

He wakes up in the morning, and when he smiles and plays with me, I have the feeling well up within me...that I just want to squeeze him! Like I've never played with a baby before.

And these feelings I have are not only with Sergio, its with each one of my kids.

Michael, although he is 21 and will be 22 in June, I just want to hug him so tightly!
Joey, yes, he's 17 and 18 in May...even though he has this Mr. Tough guy persona....I just want to squeeze him till he pops.
Tony and Angel...same thing. I look at each one with such amazement now. How in the world can this happen?

I believe a baby in your life gives you a brand new appreciation for life in general. Look around you....everything is new and exciting when you look at it from a baby's perspective. If you do something new, he's never seen before...he is amazed. Why not take on that new found excitement in our own lives. Look for things to be amazed at. God created this beautiful world and universe for us to explore and be amazed by. Enjoy it! Take it in!!! and while you are enjoying all of it...don't forget to thank God for it too!

God's Family Planning

And the Lord said to Abraham, " Why did Sarah laugh, saying, 'Shall I indeed bear a child, when I am so old?' Is there anything too difficult for the Lord?

----So why this scripture this morning?
It touches my heart because I've always trusted in God to control my family planning.
After Angel was born, I had a misscarriage at 3 weeks of pregnancy. I didn't even know I was pregnant nor was I even trying to get pregnant. Mike and I thought..YES THOUGHT, we were done after Angel so me being pregnant really threw me for a loop.
Then when I found out I was losing the baby...I vowed to never take our family planning into our own hands again. So many people threw their opinions at us saying things like, " Oh you sure you want to do that? You'll have more babies than you can handle?" Well, so much for that. 12 years of "God planning" and even when I thought it was "impossible" because of me starting pre-menopause stuff...God knew what He was doing.

And Sergio's story began....from a mere prayer from my daughter to a boy who blesses my life daily!

Even again, I still continue to hear, " Are you guys done yet having children?"

The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Let them ask that of God and see what His answer will be lol :)

On my mind today...

Its Wednesday and for our family this means Bible Study tonight.
Truthfully I find myself reluctant to go. Ever since Sergio was born, I find it very difficult to motivate myself to do much of anything outside the house. I can't really leave him home...and it takes so much energy and preparation to take him with me...I just want to stay at home.

Now, before you all start telling me how important it IS to go...I know this very well. Yes, it sets a good example to my kids and to others. I know this....But I'm in the process of finding motivators to go.

I am thinking of either teaching or help to teach the cradle roll class at church.
I am not ready to leave Sergio. He's only 8 weeks old...and he's not ready to leave me either :)

Now, to leave my house to go anywhere besides church? Its getting easier. I took Sergio with me to pick up Joey from work and usually he cries in the car seat ..and not just a whine. We are talking full cry ...chin shake cry. Mothers, you know what I mean.

But he was awake in his seat and very content. So many changes in just 8 weeks of his short life so far. Thank you DEAR LORD for giving me my family. I love my job..as a wife, and mother and teacher and caregiver. May I never take it for granted!!

New Beginnings

So many things have changed in my life since I started my blog here. I began this when I moved to Ohio from Virginia when Mike was retiring from the Navy. Now, I've been in Martins Ferry, Ohio for over 3 years now. My kids are growing up like crazy and I have a new baby on top of it all. Michael is now a Wheeling Police Officer, Joey is almost graduated, Tony and Angel are practically teenagers...and Sergio is now 8 weeks old. YIKES!

I love my life....even the hardships I go thru. I've seen time and time again that whatever the world throws at me, God can and HAS gotten me through it. I hope my kids get that from seeing me go through tough times. I want my life that I live on this earth to be a life that people can learn from.

Friends, family, acquaitences, and even strangers...chances to show a bit of God's love and mercy to people who might not get to see any of it otherwise.

Purpose filled life? Each one of us has our own book within us...that we could fill mulitiple pages with our stories of why we live today and what our purposes are?

Start thinking about yours. What is your purpose? What does God want from YOU? And start working to get there.

yes, I'm still here

Sorry bloggers that I've been gone for so long. I had every intention of writing here about once a day...but then facebook got ahold of me and I started posting there and playing games there also. I guess my blog took 2nd, 3rd or ...well it doesn't matter. The couple of followers I had, well, they seem to be gone.

Anyway, I am doing good. I am in my 28th week of my pregnancy now.
Sometimes it feels like it went soooo fast...and then others, it seems to be dragging by but its been a healthy one. Healthy is one positive note I'm trying to put with this lol. This has been tough so far. I'm more tired with this pregnancy than with the other 4, I'm more sore...but when you take into account I am also running a full time daycare in my home of 6 kids on top of this..and taking care of my own family and homeschooling....well, I guess I have every good reason to be tired.

Anyway, I hope to jump on here more often ...to get my followers back....Until then....and I won't say when cause I might just hop back on here today....and surprise all of you :)

This was touching to me.

"But the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.'"

Luke 1:30 (NIV)

Ten years ago I sat in a seminar listening to a very organized mom talking about how she parented her kids.
She was an amazing woman; a super mom in my eyes.
I held up my feeble efforts with my three toddlers and determined I stunk as a mother.
I thought that maybe if I went home and imitated her, I could enter into the world of super moms.
I mentally listed out what I discerned must be her secret to success and set about to be just like her.
But it didn't take me long to become absolutely miserable.
I mentally beat myself up for not having what it obviously took to be a great mom.
What was wrong with me?
I begged God to make me just like her - that really good mom.
And then one day in Bible study I read the story of Mary, the teenage mother of Jesus.
My heart beat fast as I realized she didn't meet the standard of super mom I'd set for myself.
Somehow, just as she was, God chose her to be Jesus' mother.
And the only qualification that she seemed to have was her willingness.
I made the choice to try and let go of all those expectations I had for myself as a mom.
I let go of the comparisons to other moms.
I laid down the measuring stick of perfection.
And I simply bowed my head and gave God my willingness.
Slowly, I started to see my own unique qualities as a mom instead of always focusing on the places I felt I fell so short.

I may not be the most organized mom, but I'm a fun mom willing to drop my to-do list in the name of spontaneity.

I may not do sit-down devotions with my kids every morning, but I'm good at helping my kids see God working in situations all through out our days.

I may not sew a lick, but I know where to find an alterationist that is the bomb.

I may not always keep my cool in the everyday aggravations of life, but throw something big at me and somehow I'll be the calmest person in the room.

Sure, I have a lot of room for growth in my mothering.
God and I work on things daily.
But over the past ten years I've learned how to embrace who I am and the beauty of living fully as me.
And while I still fall short at times, I'm finally learning that being fully me is so much better than an imitation version of someone else.
I have the exact qualities God knew my kids would need in a mother.

So, each day I hold up my willingness and ask God to make me the best version of me I can be.

wanna keep up with me?

I have started a journal on my pregnancy...
Wanna keep up....???

http://whosepregnantat41.blogspot.com/

Isn't this beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. Ralph Waldo Emerson

End of days...

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me". - Erma Bombeck

Our military

I saw a saying from an email that was sent to me today....
Think about it and honor one today!!!!!!!!




A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank checkmade payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of up to and including my life.'

That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who
no longer understand it.'

Beautiful Song

I heard a beautiful song the other day sung on God tube.com by a little girl and here are the lyrics.

Read them slowly ...carefully...like your life lives on each word.

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming
Indescribable,
uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

Meditate on that today during your quiet time.....
Do not get so used to hearing God's Word that you become numb to its message.
Be Blessed

Does this picure make you FEEL anything?
I saw this picture on a dear person's myspace and it struck a heartstring.
Its so beautiful.
All I want to do is be like God created me to be and nothing more and nothing less and now at 41 years old, I'm just starting to figure that out and not fight it anymore.

I have been given a gift but I fight the gift. Ever done that before?
I feel like Jonah who God called to save people and he didn't want to do it.

I'll share....
I have a soft heart for people...
Have you ever gotten mad at someone because they put you down or did something to hurt you?
It happens to everyone right?
But when it happens to me, I don't stay angry.
I try...cause I WANT to stay angry cause sometimes I feel like if I stay angry then the person who did wrong to me got what they deserved but lately I'm realizing that the heart God gave me to forgive and not to stay angry is a gift that not too many people have.
I also have an empathtic heart.
Its a blessing and a curse cause I can "weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice" but the weeping part is the hardest part.

I feel such sadness for people....Its almost like I internal someone else's pain and it hurts but I know I can do that to HELP others.

I'm just realizing the potential God has given me and I'm not sure how to handle it.
I feel like He is preparing me .....not sure what for...but its definitely for something
Pray for me will you?
I want to do with my life what God wants....
I don't usually do well with change.....
God Bless
Nikki

History is made...in more ways than one

If God wanted to add todays history to His Good Book, what would he say?
Yes I know having a black president is a new one for the history books....nothing wrong with that.
But will he keep the Lords statutes as he leads our country?
Will he keep the Laws put in place by our founding fathers who had their faith in our Lord which you can see in all of the speeches and writings of our forefathers.

If you haven't seen the video lecture, the Silencing of God, please do a search online for it.
I believe you can purchase a copy pretty inexpencively or watch or listen to it online for free.

God will NOT be silenced people and for those who think that their cause to put away God is working, just wait.

God will DO the silencing...and He will NOT be silenced. Those who try to do so will be snuffed out.

I do not worry about our country.
God is in control.
He has always been in control.
and He always will be.

Lean not upon your own understanding cause your ways are not Gods way but acknowlege the Lord in all things !!!!

Hello everyone....
I know its been a very long time since I've written last and all I can come up with for an excuse...
Just don't feel like writing.
As it got closer to 2009 I felt myself sinking into a depression.
Why?
Alot has happened in the past year that I really cannot go into here.
But I don't think I have the brain energy to put into this blog on a regular basis.

I am thankful for all of my faithful readers and hope to write when I can.

Be blessed everyone!