Sad realization.....

As my husband was talking about how to decorate a room we are redoing into a Study/Office...He brought out all these awards and certificates from his years in his career in the Navy.

Each one he brought out...just brought more tears to my eyes.

Why?

Because I spend MY career mostly as a in home daycare provider (no paper awards for that) and also as a mom who chose to Homeschool her children .

I have nothing on the walls ...or on the bookshelves...for recognition.

Does recognition mean something...

To some it does. Right now, I wish I had something ....

To see all of those certificates and awards...signed by presidents...

Maps of all the places he's ever been....

What do I have...
What have I accomplished...

Yeah yeah yeah...I know.

What I've done in my almost 30 years of marriage and 29 years of being a mom...is more than just certificates and awards.

I can look at my kids and they are my walking, talking awards!

The way they treat each other and how they care for their friends and family...That shows the teaching and hours and hours of love I poured into them.

There is no award for being awake for days , caring for them when they were sick.

No award when your heart is broken because someone or something hurt them greatly.

No award for when they finally learned something that they had been struggling with in their schooling.

Yes, his awards and certificates are mine as well because I was the one home, being the supportive person, taking care of the kids and family and he trusted in me so he can do his work and get the awards he has to show. So really, those are mine as well but its HIS name on them. Sometimes, the supportive person in the background can be forgotten about.

As I write this...I have tears flowing from my eyes.

If I could do things differently, I would have written my own awards.

And kept them for reminders of what I've accomplished.

An Award, " You survived your first all nighter with "said child".

"the Love award goes to Nikki Vilano for when your child told you for the first time on their own I LOVE YOU MOMMY".

I wish I would have done that. But, I never thought of it.

Well, at least I feel better now. I needed to get this out.

I must remember, those awards may have his name on them but he couldn't have done it so well without the support of me and his kids at home. No matter what those papers say...God knows what I've done in my life and those pieces of paper someday with be nothing. How I've raised my children and the impact they have on this world...THAT is what truly matters.